Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
