is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
