I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
