just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
