When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
