Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Your cock deserves a montage
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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