At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
