whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
My nipple is on Facebook.
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
