ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
