Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
