It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
are you so shy because you have an std?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
