I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
