need another drink. this is the easiest way
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
one two three fourrrrnication!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
