New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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