No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
