why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
