Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
