The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
