and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
