Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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