I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
