On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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