Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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