It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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