I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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