Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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