Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
