She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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