Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I have already put on my inside pants.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
