Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
