apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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