hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
