some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
