He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
