No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
