dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
