all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
