Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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