five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
