he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
