she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
