And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
