would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
