OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
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