I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Boobs are out for the taking
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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