i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Randomize
