Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I just forgot I was standing up.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
