I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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