Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
