If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
