you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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