He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Randomize
