dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
