They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
