I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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